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growing together

Growing Together: Lessons My Children Are Teaching Me

by Nidhi Guglani

Parenting is often spoken of as a one-way journey—where parents guide, teach, and mold their children. But lately, I’ve been feeling the opposite: my children are teaching me just as much, if not more.


Raising two very different individuals has been both humbling and enriching. Each of them brings something unique to our family. One moves with clarity and purpose. The other takes a more explorative path—curious, observant, and deeply empathetic. Though their approaches to life differ, both are growing into thoughtful, self-aware individuals who know what matters to them.


What’s even more striking is how freely they voice their opinions. They say “no” when they mean it, hold their ground, and aren’t afraid to challenge my views—sometimes pointing out when I sound outdated. It’s not disrespect. It’s honesty. Still, I’d be lying if I said it never stings.


Then again, it makes me reflect on my own childhood. I was obedient to a fault, rarely questioned my parents, always eager to please, and hardly ever said no. Even today, I struggle to set boundaries or choose myself over others. That’s not entirely bad—but it makes me wonder: is this who I am because of my personality or because of how I was raised?


Maybe it’s both. And maybe that’s okay.


What matters now is that I’ve chosen to give my children space—to speak, to falter, to find themselves. I haven’t imposed paths on them, and because of that, they’ve grown in directions I couldn’t have planned. But that doesn’t make those directions any less valid.


I’ve come to realize that success looks different for each child. One may shine academically or professionally. The other may radiate empathy, resilience, or emotional intelligence. We can’t measure people by the same ruler—and we certainly shouldn’t compare our children.


The real challenge is finding the balance: How do I let my children be who they are, while still offering guidance? How do I ensure my voice is heard, while also honoring theirs?


It’s a dance.


So I’m learning. I try to model what I want to see in them: the willingness to listen, to stay open, to speak gently but truthfully. I ask questions—not to interrogate, but to understand. I’ve started saying things like:


  • I struggle to say no. I admire how easily you do it.
  • I hope my opinions, even if they seem old-fashioned, still matter to you.
  • Let’s have an open conversation, with a logical perspective from each side.



These aren’t lectures. They’re conversations. And they’re slowly becoming bridges.


But growing with them doesn’t mean erasing my own voice. While I’m listening more and allowing space, I’m also learning to stand firm—with clarity and compassion.


There are moments when my experience matters—not because I have all the answers, but because I’ve lived longer, stumbled more, and seen how choices unfold. In those moments, I remind myself it’s okay to say, “I understand where you’re coming from, but here’s what I’ve seen—and this is what I believe.”


I don’t parent from a place of control—but I do parent from presence. And sometimes that means offering a steady, guiding voice when things feel uncertain. I try not to impose, but I do assert. I share what I know with quiet confidence, hoping it plants a seed—even if it takes time to grow.


So even as I grow with them, I stand beside them—not behind, not above—offering the wisdom I’ve gathered while staying true to the values I hold dear. I want them to be free, yes—but also kind, rooted, and responsible.


Parenting is a dance. A constant rhythm between holding on and letting go. Between guiding and stepping back. Between leading you and learning.


And I’m still learning the steps.


But in this process, I’m not just watching my children grow up.

I’m learning how to grow up all over again—with them, beside them, and sometimes, because of them.




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