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Beyond Blame-- every child a story

Beyond Blame

by Nidhi Guglani

It’s just been a month into the new session, and already the class feels like it’s carrying so much. There’s always something happening — small fights, complaints, reactions. Sometimes, it starts with one child saying something, and before I know it, five others join in. Not all of it is serious, but it still becomes a big scene.


Some children are always in the middle of it. Sometimes they act out, and sometimes the class is already waiting for a chance to blame them. Things get repeated, stories grow, and soon it becomes hard to tell what really happened and what didn’t. Last year too, there were a few difficult moments, especially around behaviour and boundaries, and they’ve left a mark — not just on the child involved, but on how others treat them now.


As a teacher, I see both sides. I can tell when a complaint is genuine, and I can also sense when children are exaggerating or following the crowd. And honestly, I don’t want my class to become a place where we’re just reacting. I want it to be a space where we understand first.


Every child is different. Some are still learning how to express themselves, some are struggling with things they don’t talk about. Some do things for attention. And the truth is — they get it, one way or another. But even when behaviour isn’t okay, the answer can’t always be punishment or pushing away. It takes time to change, and it takes a lot of care.


So I’ve been trying a few things in class. We talk more — not just about complaints, but about how we feel and how we can respond better. Some kids are writing small reflection logs — what they did, how they felt, and what they want to do differently next time. We’ve paired students in new ways to help them work with those they don’t usually talk to. And we’ve made a small rule — don’t complain unless it’s really needed. Try and sort it out kindly first. At the end of the day, we also take a moment to say something good about someone — even something as small as “they smiled today” or “they helped me.”


It’s not perfect, but it’s helping. Slowly, the classroom is becoming more about listening and less about shouting.


Because teaching isn’t just about telling children what not to do. It’s about helping them understand why they do what they do, and showing them how to reflect, not just react. It’s about making sure no one feels left out — not the one who made a mistake, and not the one who got hurt.


And maybe that’s what really matters — creating a space where every child, no matter what they’ve done or been through, gets a chance to be seen, heard, and guided with care.


After all, it’s easier to blame a child than to question the mirror.






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